The Associated Press Warns of “Deadly Tarantulas”
What kind of people is the Associated Press hiring these days? Christopher Sherman reports luridly on dangers lurking in Texas floodwaters — “stinging fire ants, snakes and even deadly tarantulas.”
Even deadly tarantulas? I suppose the emphatic adverb is appropriate, because a deadly tarantula would be real news. There is no such thing: no tarantula is known to be deadly to humans, unless the human being happens to be allergic to tarantula venom. And even then, death is unlikely and ginning up hysteria about deadly tarantulas is about as sensible as admonishing us to watch out for deadly halibut — some people are allergic to fish, after all.
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July 29th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
“What kind of people is the Associated Press hiring these days?”
Ask ‘Stuff White People Like.’
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/06/25/winner-5/
July 30th, 2008 at 7:53 am
Maybe this guy works on their “Iranian nuclear threat” stories too!
July 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Har.
August 1st, 2008 at 3:37 pm
[after Emily Litella]
Why is everyone so frightened of a nice old-fashioned Italian dance? Why, what fun would an Italian wedding, or picking up your pizza be if you couldn’t hear the tarantella over their speakers? What other rhythm gives you that “When you’re here, you’re family” feeling? And it helps us, too, to never forget who it was named after, that nice gentleman Jim Tarantella over at The Wall Street Journal opinion site, manning with no thought whatever for his own personal safety or sanity the burning deck of neoconservatism whence all but he had fled…
What? *Tarantula* the spider? Never mind, Cheddar…
August 23rd, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Flooding presents more of a danger to Tarantulas than man. I’m pretty sure they can’t swim. By the way, they’ve invaded Florida.